Startup Founder Conflict: How to Manage Conflicts and Keep Your Company on Track

Starting a new business is exciting and challenging, but it can also be fraught with conflict. According to Noam Wasserman, author of The Founder’s Dilemmas, 65% of startups fail because of founder conflict. Conflicts can lead to tension and unproductive arguments, causing issues that can ruin a venture. As a founder, it’s essential to establish proactive measures to identify and resolve conflict long before it arises. In this article, we’ll explore the four concepts that you should consider to avoid founder conflict and keep your company on track.

Discuss Values and Motivation (Not Just Vision)

Agreeing that you want to build a successful startup together is the tip of the iceberg. Go deeper to understand your motivation, values, and life paths. While the specifics don’t need to perfectly sync between founders, understanding what makes each person tick will establish deeper bonds, foster greater empathy and build shorter paths to conflict resolution.

Recognize that Feedback Works Only When the Right Language is Used

Feedback is essential in resolving conflicts, but it’s crucial to deliver it in the right way. Regularly schedule time and space to give feedback and feedforward. Choose a framework that is specific, fact-based and actionable, but also easy to understand. Building this release valve into your weekly routine will help you catch issues early. Moreover, feedback is only a gift when it’s delivered in language and a tone that can be received. Attacking, labeling, or being passive-aggressive can make things worse. The non-violent communication approach is a powerful tool to negotiate peace deals and end gang violence because of its humanizing ethos.

Agree on How to Disagree. Then Disagree and Commit

Agree on a time-boxed protocol to amicably work through options and choose the best path forward. When all else fails, de-escalate by circling back to your joint vision, focus on win-win outcomes, and be willing to disagree and commit. Remember, you are a team, and your success depends on your ability to work together.

Don’t Try to Go It Alone. Seek Independent Outlets

In any high-stakes relationship, our assumptions and emotions can cloud reality. Even those with the highest emotional intelligence and ability to detach from heated situations will have biases and blind spots. A truly objective view requires an independent trusted advisor. This is someone who has your back but can challenge your views while also illuminating the opposing perspective. Talking through an issue with someone else is all you need to feel better, move forward, and even compromise.

The Pitfalls and How to Avoid Them

Co-founder conflict is one of the biggest contributors to startup failure. Here are some common co-founder pitfalls (and how to avoid them):

1. Your Company’s Goals and Vision: Ensure all the stakeholder’s visions are aligned, and all roles are understood.
2. Your Target Market: Drill down on who your viable target market is and how you are going to reach them.
3. Decision-making: Have an established decision-making process and contingency for disagreements from the outset.
4. Responsibilities: Make sure all co-founders are clear on their respective roles and responsibilities.
5. Equity: Determine equity rewards based on agreed performance milestones.

Front-loading those difficult conversations, taking the time to prepare and outline your expectations and establish procedures, will give your startup the best foundations for success.

Takeaway tips

1. Put your plans in writing
2. Have ‘conflict meetings’
3. Try to spend some time with your co-founders away from work

Conflicts are inevitable (even necessary) so a pre-agreed conflict resolution game plan provides clarity and direction.

Schedule fortnightly or monthly meetings to meet any issues head-on, taking the sting out of those potentially thorny issues (or at least getting them out in the open).

These meetings also give you an opportunity to address them away from your employees, ensuring morale is not adversely affected.

And finally, spending time away from the pressures of the workplace builds trust and strengthens your bond for the more testing times that await.

Additional Tips

1. Don’t ignore your gut: Founders are often advised to “trust their gut” and it’s no different when it comes to managing conflicts. If something feels off or is causing you concern, don’t hesitate to address it. Waiting can cause the issue to become much worse than it needs to be.
2. Seek outside help: Sometimes, the issue is too big for the founders to handle on their own. Seeking outside help can be beneficial in such situations. An experienced mentor, consultant, or coach can provide a fresh perspective and guidance on how to navigate the situation.
3. Choose your battles: Not every conflict is worth fighting over. Founders need to choose their battles wisely and focus on the issues that matter most to the success of the company. If an issue isn’t critical, it’s best to let it go rather than create unnecessary tension.
4. Be transparent: Communication is key in managing conflicts between founders. The more transparent the communication, the more likely the founders can avoid misunderstandings and work towards a mutually beneficial solution.

Conclusion

Startup founder conflicts are inevitable, but they don’t have to be destructive. By establishing proactive measures to identify and resolve conflict, founders can prevent issues from spiraling out of control. Discussing values and motivation, using the right language when giving feedback, agreeing on how to disagree, and seeking independent outlets are all effective ways to mitigate conflicts. It’s essential to keep in mind that every conflict is an opportunity for growth and improvement. With the right mindset and approach, founders can navigate conflicts successfully and continue to drive their startup towards success.

Further Reading:

1. “Startup Founder Conflict: Can You Get Ahead Of It?” by Rami Shapov, Forbes Councils Member https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2021/01/05/startup-founder-conflict-can-you-get-ahead-of-it/
2. “The Founder’s Dilemmas: Anticipating and Avoiding the Pitfalls That Can Sink a Startup” by Noam Wasserman https://www.amazon.com/Founders-Dilemmas-Anticipating-Foundation-Entrepreneurship/dp/0691158304
3. “3 Simple Frameworks To Give Effective Feedback” by The Quercus Stories Team https://stories.quercusapp.com/3-simple-frameworks-to-give-effective-feedback-6c8a60ce6e9b
4. “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life” by Marshall B. Rosenberg https://www.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships/dp/189200528X/
5. “Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High” by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler https://www.amazon.com/Crucial-Conversations-Talking-Stakes-Second/dp/0071771328/
6. “How to Fix the Co-Founder Fights You’re Sick of Having: Lessons from Couples Therapist Esther Perel” by David J. Loehnen https://firstround.com/review/how-to-fix-the-co-founder-fights-youre-sick-of-having-lessons-from-couples-therapist-esther-perel/
7. “Co-founder conflict: the pitfalls and how to avoid them” by Pete Martin https://www.vestd.com/blog/co-founder-conflict-the-pitfalls-and-how-to-avoid-them

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